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Ams Jendob
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 Post Posted: Tue, May 20th 2008 02:29pm    Post subject:
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No, AotC has more in common with a Michael Bey film than a Star Wars film.
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The Master
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 Post Posted: Tue, May 20th 2008 02:45pm    Post subject:
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Dooku is forming the Confederate States of Amer- sorry, the Confederacy of Independent Systems. To get Nute Gunray, the least effective leader ever, on side, he has to kill Amidala to satisfy Gunray's need for revenge (Gunray, richest man in the Galaxy, cannot do this?). To do this he hires Jango Fett, feared bounty hunter.

Jango hires another bounty hunter (why?), sexy Zam, who sets a bomb on Padme's ship, (why, how?) which she sets off as Padme starts to get off the ship (why?) except it isn't Padme after all! Twist!

Jango, feared bounty hunter, tells sexy Zam she's a fool. He then gives her some poisonous worms (why?) to use to kill Padme (WHY?) which she then pus in a droid which she will use to introduce them into Padme's room (How lazy are these bounty hunters? Seriously.)

Anakin saves Padme. Boo. Zam is then killed by Jango, feared bounty hunter, who could have taken the opportunity to shoot Anakin in the back of his whining head (why not?) It is decided the best way to keep Padme safe is to take her from the seat of government, where the Republic is strongest, to Naboo, a planet of artists and liberals with security so woeful it requires its queens to use decoys all the damn time (why? WHY?)

Oh, and Anakin is sent with Padme to keep her safe. Anakin who fancies the pants off Padme and is the most unruly, emotional, unstable Padawan the Jedi have.

WHY?

Meanwhile, Obi goes in search of Sifo Dyas (who is Dooku) and finds out that Sifo has deleted Kamino, but done such a bad job of it that a 5 year old points out the discrepancy (what?) Obi goes to Kamino to find that they're making 1.2 million Clones with which they will fight a war in a Galaxy of 50 million inhabited planets (um...) and these will be the Union army if the Confederate Sta- sorry, Republic Army. Jango Fett, feared bounty hunter, then has to be rescued by his son, who shoots Obi in the face with Slave 1's heavy blaster cannons, knocking Obi over but leaving Jango unscathed (??)

Then they fly through an asteroid field while Ewan McGregor looks faintly bored, before following Jango down to Geonosis, a desert planet (amazing imagination, George) Where the CSA... CIS even, is building a droid army of quadrillions of robomen. Against which 1.2 million Clones will stand. Um.

He is captured, so are Ani and Padme (who has fallen in love with Ani after he commits miniature genocide) Then 200 Jedi come out of nowhere, try to rescue them, and all die (why? what? seriously, what? They're Jedi but they don't have any idea how to rescue 3 people?)

Then the Napoleonic Wars break out on Geonosis, with huge columns of Clones charging into massive clouds of droids without thought of tactics or strategy, and the film just stops trying.
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 Post Posted: Tue, May 20th 2008 02:48pm    Post subject:
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It tried to have story, I admit that, but Lucas botched it up by his mediocre directing, poor editing, overuse of CGI and horrible lead actors(with the exception of Ewan McGregor).
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Ams Jendob
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 Post Posted: Tue, May 20th 2008 02:50pm    Post subject:
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Sifo-Dyas isn't Dooku, but the rest is right. :p

EDIT: Bah, Han. :p

And Portman isn't a horrible actor. She does well with other films... of course, Lucas' writing even managed to make Ian McDiarmid seem awful at times in ROTS (what a fitting acronym). Really, the only lousy actor in the setup is the lead: Hayden "Pretty Boy" Christensen as Anakin Skywalker.
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Han Solo
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 Post Posted: Tue, May 20th 2008 04:27pm    Post subject:
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Portman did a horrible job in all three of the Star Wars prequels. She stopped trying and admitted this several times in interviews. She couldn't work with Lucas and his "directing" methods. Then again, I can't really see who could.
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Kalydon Skirata
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 Post Posted: Tue, May 20th 2008 04:38pm    Post subject:
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Ams Jendob wrote:

And Portman isn't a horrible actor. She does well with other films... of course, Lucas' writing even managed to make Ian McDiarmid seem awful at times in ROTS (what a fitting acronym). Really, the only lousy actor in the setup is the lead: Hayden "Pretty Boy" Christensen as Anakin Skywalker.


Heh, Portman was pretty good for her role in V for Vendetta.

But I thought it was Hayden "I kiss my own ass" Christenson. :P
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dudop
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 Post Posted: Tue, May 20th 2008 04:57pm    Post subject:
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I don't know why you all hate George Lucas so much... any way, I thought I'd try to answer some of your questions...
The Master wrote:
Dooku is forming the Confederate States of Amer- sorry, the Confederacy of Independent Systems. To get Nute Gunray, the least effective leader ever, on side, he has to kill Amidala to satisfy Gunray's need for revenge (Gunray, richest man in the Galaxy, cannot do this?).
You said yourself, he's the worst leader ever. No connections. Dooku wants him for his money.
To do this he hires Jango Fett, feared bounty hunter.

Jango hires another bounty hunter (why?), sexy Zam, who sets a bomb on Padme's ship, (why, how?) which she sets off as Padme starts to get off the ship (why?) except it isn't Padme after all! Twist!

I think Jango wanted to be able to cover his tracks. Hence, he killed her o_O. I also believe Zam fired the bomb from a building ("I hit the ship, but they used a decoy.") If you were a changeling, you would be too.
Jango, feared bounty hunter, tells sexy Zam she's a fool. He then gives her some poisonous worms (why?) to use to kill Padme (WHY?) which she then pus in a droid which she will use to introduce them into Padme's room (How lazy are these bounty hunters? Seriously.)

As I said...
Anakin saves Padme. Boo. Zam is then killed by Jango, feared bounty hunter, who could have taken the opportunity to shoot Anakin in the back of his whining head (why not?) It is decided the best way to keep Padme safe is to take her from the seat of government, where the Republic is strongest, to Naboo, a planet of artists and liberals with security so woeful it requires its queens to use decoys all the damn time (why? WHY?)

He didn't get Anakin because then Obi-Wan would get him. Politics creates GREAT hiding places for assassins (as seen in previous scene) and Naboo just happens to be peaceful.
Oh, and Anakin is sent with Padme to keep her safe. Anakin who fancies the pants off Padme and is the most unruly, emotional, unstable Padawan the Jedi have.

WHY? Good point... I guess all the decent ones were busy?

Meanwhile, Obi goes in search of Sifo Dyas (who is Dooku) and finds out that Sifo has deleted Kamino, but done such a bad job of it that a 5 year old points out the discrepancy (what?) Obi goes to Kamino to find that they're making 1.2 million Clones with which they will fight a war in a Galaxy of 50 million inhabited planets (um...) and these will be the Union army if the Confederate Sta- sorry, Republic Army. Jango Fett, feared bounty hunter, then has to be rescued by his son, who shoots Obi in the face with Slave 1's heavy blaster cannons, knocking Obi over but leaving Jango unscathed (??)

He wasn't searching for Sifo-Dyas (I doubt he even existed) he was following the dart. Yeah, that is an unrealistically low number. ALL rebublics have armies! You would have to be "rescued" if you were up against a Jedi Knight, and he didn't shoot him in the face, he hit the floor. What's wrong with surviving a laser that came nowhere near you?
Then they fly through an asteroid field while Ewan McGregor looks faintly bored, before following Jango down to Geonosis, a desert planet (amazing imagination, George) Where the CSA... CIS even, is building a droid army of quadrillions of robomen. Against which 1.2 million Clones will stand. Um.
Bored? Robomen? Quadrillions? "um" indeed.
He is captured, so are Ani and Padme (who has fallen in love with Ani after he commits miniature genocide) Then 200 Jedi come out of nowhere, try to rescue them, and all die (why? what? seriously, what? They're Jedi but they don't have any idea how to rescue 3 people?)
That wasn't genocide, It was self-defence. They didn't all die. If you're so smart, what do you do?
Then the Napoleonic Wars break out on Geonosis, with huge columns of Clones charging into massive clouds of droids without thought of tactics or strategy, and the film just stops trying.
No tactics? did they tell you that?
Sorry about fudging the quote, I couldn't get more than one in here.
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Kalydon Skirata
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 Post Posted: Tue, May 20th 2008 06:23pm    Post subject:
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dudop wrote:
I don't know why you all hate George Lucas so much...


For me, it's because Star Wars went from having the Force as a mystical power that could not be rationally explained, the Jedi and Sith as defenders and warriors of the light and the darkness, a tale of the characters, their memories and bonds...to a fancy CG showing with Jedi-Sith dance-fights, characters with the depth of a piece of paper, and more bad lines and less common sense than the characters from "Manos: The Hands of Fate"...

Well, not quite as bad as Manos, that's a fate no movie has ever deserved, but still pretty bad.
I'm all for the added action and battle scenes though, I loved those parts, but when there weren't shots being fired, troops getting blasted to all forms of hell, the movies fell apart in their story.
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 Post Posted: Tue, May 20th 2008 11:18pm    Post subject:
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I agree with Alexus on every point he's made about the movies so far in this thread (including order of preference). So, I don't see any need to argue my own stance when he's got it down so well already. :p
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The Master
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 Post Posted: Wed, May 21st 2008 12:21pm    Post subject:
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You're like a brother to me, Cray. *hugs*
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 Post Posted: Wed, May 21st 2008 12:44pm    Post subject:
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Well after The Movie they have a Show there doing, Animated although... But next year they will have a Live Show between 3 and 4, so there won't be to much Force users in that, mostly it's on people we don't know yet.
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 Post Posted: Wed, May 21st 2008 01:04pm    Post subject:
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Kalydon Skirata wrote:
dudop wrote:
I don't know why you all hate George Lucas so much...


For me, it's because Star Wars went from having the Force as a mystical power that could not be rationally explained, the Jedi and Sith as defenders and warriors of the light and the darkness, a tale of the characters, their memories and bonds...to a fancy CG showing with Jedi-Sith dance-fights, characters with the depth of a piece of paper, and more bad lines and less common sense than the characters from "Manos: The Hands of Fate"...

Well, not quite as bad as Manos, that's a fate no movie has ever deserved, but still pretty bad.
I'm all for the added action and battle scenes though, I loved those parts, but when there weren't shots being fired, troops getting blasted to all forms of hell, the movies fell apart in their story.
Whoah- you just contradicted yourself so many times. The Force has to be explainable, or else it will repel the realists (me included) because it would just be annother stupid Star Trek. I assume that Mados is something along the lines of Max Magician xD. There's actually a decent explanation for all that spinning, and they have a name for that form of combat. Light and darkness is so overrated. Those battle scenes you say you like aren't mystical or heartwarming at all. And who really cares who's kissing who and what Vaders old name was? Are you looking for a soap opera? :?
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 Post Posted: Wed, May 21st 2008 01:13pm    Post subject:
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Quote:
Whoah- you just contradicted yourself so many times. The Force has to be explainable, or else it will repel the realists (me included) because it would just be annother stupid Star Trek. I assume that Mados is something along the lines of Max Magician xD. There's actually a decent explanation for all that spinning, and they have a name for that form of combat. Light and darkness is so overrated. Those battle scenes you say you like aren't mystical or heartwarming at all. And who really cares who's kissing who and what Vaders old name was? Are you looking for a soap opera? :?


How can you explain the Force realistically? "Small creatures that live in our cells" is a contradiction in and of itself. The cell is the basic form of life, you can't have a creature inside it.

As for the saber forms, that's somewhat interesting. It even looks nice when done right. But take the duel between Yoda and Dooku. It was crap; sheer, unadulterated crap.

Light and darkness are overrated? It's the fundamental battle; has been for millennia on Earth. There's more to Star Wars than just fancy effects and a nice soundtrack.

And so what if Star Wars has some romance. VIII does too. Nothing wrong with it. If we condemn a film just because two characters form a relationship... well, there goes just about every movie ever made.
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dudop
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 Post Posted: Wed, May 21st 2008 05:32pm    Post subject:
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Ams Jendob wrote:
"Small creatures that live in our cells" is a contradiction in and of itself. The cell is the basic form of life, you can't have a creature inside it.

And so what if Star Wars has some romance. VIII does too. Nothing wrong with it. If we condemn a film just because two characters form a relationship... well, there goes just about every movie ever made.
Wrong... it's the basic form of Terran life. Stupid, soft, weak Terran life, as so many authors must remind us.
I was not directly criticizing the romance specifically, just the tiny, insignificant events.

...Your forgetting documentaries. :lol:

Edit: Episode II is the only one I own, although I also see III and V from time to time. I would have to see that duel, I don't remember anything wrong with it. If there is, it's Lucas' fault for trying to make a half-digital scene like that.
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 Post Posted: Wed, May 21st 2008 07:22pm    Post subject:
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You do realize that humans in SW are identical to Terrans?
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 Post Posted: Wed, May 21st 2008 09:26pm    Post subject:
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Shouldn't dudop's user name be changed to his character's name? :P
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 Post Posted: Wed, May 21st 2008 10:59pm    Post subject:
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Quote:
That wasn't genocide, It was self-defence.


...

Right, so he decided to charge into the open of the Tusken camp (Who tortured his mother to death, I might add), say hello, and serve them cupcakes?

I'm not sure what 'version' of Episode II you're watching, but I highly suggest you burn it, save up $0.50, and go out to Target or Wal-Mart or whatever and buy the original. Then go and tell me he was using 'self-defense'.

Quote:
They didn't all die. If you're so smart, what do you do?


Well, they DID have a casualty rate of 99.94% (Twelve out of the original two hundred survived), since they possessed the tactical skill of a brain-dead mosquito, what with their scattering and spreading themselves over the entire arena where half a dozen of them die every minute from misfires, let alone properly-aimed shots. If they had all come to the center of the arena and blocked off the tunnels instead of waiting for all of the droids to come marching out in neat an orderly line like a platoon of redcoats, then they would have won hands-down.

But NOOOO, they were being led by Mace "General Custer" Windu, so they were slaughtered. End of story.
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 Post Posted: Wed, May 21st 2008 11:13pm    Post subject:
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Yeah, it was quite definitely a massacre. You don't kill "women... and the children!" in "self-defense."
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Kalydon Skirata
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 Post Posted: Thu, May 22nd 2008 02:31am    Post subject:
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Ams Jendob wrote:
Yeah, it was quite definitely a massacre. You don't kill "women... and the children!" in "self-defense."


Indeed...that'd earn him a public execution if he were in my outfit, but the Jedi just look the other way.
And don't tell me that they couldn't know, Yoda knew, and nothing happened to Anakin. No punishment, no discipline, nothing at all, the incident was swept under the rug.

Then again, if Hayden Christenson were in my outfit he'd be shot anyway, just for being him. :lol:
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 Post Posted: Thu, May 22nd 2008 03:03am    Post subject:
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If Hayden sucks...




send him my way.

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 Post Posted: Thu, May 22nd 2008 03:28am    Post subject:
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He has a mouth like a vacuum cleaner ... enjoy :P
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 Post Posted: Thu, May 22nd 2008 05:13am    Post subject:
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I love you guys :D
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 Post Posted: Thu, May 22nd 2008 06:30am    Post subject:
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dudop wrote:
Ams Jendob wrote:
"Small creatures that live in our cells" is a contradiction in and of itself. The cell is the basic form of life, you can't have a creature inside it.

And so what if Star Wars has some romance. VIII does too. Nothing wrong with it. If we condemn a film just because two characters form a relationship... well, there goes just about every movie ever made.
Wrong... it's the basic form of Terran life. Stupid, soft, weak Terran life, as so many authors must remind us.
I was not directly criticizing the romance specifically, just the tiny, insignificant events.

...Your forgetting documentaries. :lol:

Edit: Episode II is the only one I own, although I also see III and V from time to time. I would have to see that duel, I don't remember anything wrong with it. If there is, it's Lucas' fault for trying to make a half-digital scene like that.


Student of Biology here:
Cells ARE the smallest unit of life in all lifeforms based on carbon. Humans, Monkeys, Whales, Trees, Tomatoes and Ewoks.

However, it /is/ possible, that Qui-Gon was speaking of an organelle (part of a cell) like the mitochondria or some such, that /acts/ like a life-form or creature, but is part of the cell itself.

Then again, it is also possible that Qui-Gon doesn't quite know exactly what the midicholorians are, but knows they relate to the cell in some way, and thought up the first thing that came to mind.
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 Post Posted: Thu, May 22nd 2008 01:16pm    Post subject:
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That's incorrect. I just remembered bacteria. They're many times smaller than cells.

I figured the genocide bit was about the part where the two were attacked when they entered Genonosis, having forgot about the Tuskens.

And yes, I watched it again and that Yoda/Dooku duel was crap. It only happened because Dooku wanted time to think of a plan, or George Lucas wanted to prove that Yoda could be animated.
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 Post Posted: Thu, May 22nd 2008 01:20pm    Post subject:
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Quote:
That's incorrect. I just remembered bacteria. They're many times smaller than cells.

No, bacteria are made up of cells, too.
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