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How to win the War
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Star Wars: Episode VIII: Binds of Tyranny Forum Index » Off-Topic » How to win the War
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Adria Reyna
First Sergeant


Joined: 13 Sep 2007
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 Post Posted: Wed, March 05th 2008 09:53am    Post subject: How to win the War
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Mostly because I'm bored I decided to start up a brand spanking new game, mostly centered about humerous ways of the Rebellion, Empire and the multitude of other factions could possibly win the war.

#1 The Rebels construct a time Machine, go back, erase Palpatine, thus by accident causing the Ewoks to become a major galactic super-power.
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Space Jawa
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 Post Posted: Wed, March 05th 2008 10:40am    Post subject:
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#2: Build a model II Death Star, but DON'T let the enemy know about it while it's still vulnerable.
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Nevin Antilles
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Joined: 09 Jan 2006
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 Post Posted: Wed, March 05th 2008 02:41pm    Post subject:
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#3. Imperials lose cohesion due to a small glitch (ie: permanent erasure) of their forums.
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Velora Antana
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 Post Posted: Wed, March 05th 2008 03:24pm    Post subject:
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#4. Send an Austrian robot Ams back in time to kill Nevin's mother before she gives birth to him, thus dooming the human resistance Rebels from the death of their leader one of their leaders.
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Ams Jendob
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 Post Posted: Wed, March 05th 2008 03:49pm    Post subject:
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Why would Ams kill Nevin? He'd kill Padme... :p

5. Turn the entire Rebel Senate into a bunch of Ecstasy addicts and the Senate Building into a giant rave. Then record and broadcast the results on the Holonet. >_>
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Adria Reyna
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 Post Posted: Wed, March 05th 2008 04:51pm    Post subject:
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6. Convince the Great DM in the Sky (i.e. Deus Gygax) to tilt the DC on Lukes fortitude save on Hoth.
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Ams Jendob
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 Post Posted: Sat, March 08th 2008 01:24pm    Post subject:
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7. The Empire scraps all of its Star Destroyers and replaces them with all of the Federation classes from Star Trek, built to DITL specifications... resulting in a resounding Rebel victory. :p
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307
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 Post Posted: Sat, March 08th 2008 01:50pm    Post subject:
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#8. The Emperor decides that a 19-year, trillion credit investment into the Death Star is probably a valuable thing and assigns a full sector fleet to its defense. Red Squadron is destroyed by approximately 10x24^ TIE fighters and the Death Star destroys Yavin IV.
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Ams Jendob
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 Post Posted: Sat, March 08th 2008 04:03pm    Post subject:
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I think it's supposed to be something done in the game. >_>

Also, 1024 TIEs? Don't push. :p
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Adria Reyna
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 Post Posted: Sat, March 08th 2008 07:57pm    Post subject:
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No, it can just be stupid.

#9 Palpatine sleeps with Shy, civil war insues.
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Ams Jendob
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 Post Posted: Sat, March 08th 2008 08:14pm    Post subject:
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...I don't think Shy can get drunk/horny enough to do that willingly... so yes, there'd be civil war. :p

#10. The Empire deploys horrific new technologies and tactics against the Alliance, resulting in the breaking of their will to fight. The Alliance capitulates.

A week later, Palpatine and the other Sith are assassinated. Emperor Jendob the First is coronated and secures the reunification of the Galaxy with sweeping civil reforms, placating any and all needs to rebel or revolt. The Galaxy sees long-term peace for the first time in decades.



Yeah, like that will ever happen... Rebel capitulation? Pfft. :p
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Adria Reyna
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 Post Posted: Sat, March 08th 2008 09:44pm    Post subject:
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#11 Following the coronation of the Emperor Jendob, civil war breaks out, the Rebels taking advantage of this to drive a wedge between the different Imperial factions and ultimatley claiming more teritory then they had prior to the war.
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307
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 Post Posted: Sun, March 09th 2008 12:09am    Post subject:
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#12. The Yuuzhan Vong arrive eleven years early, not worrying about 'sowing chaos and disorder' and generally try to kick the crap out of the major galactic powers and fail magnificently thanks to the Empire's dozen and two ESDs, the Rebel's huge fleet, and the invention of canned nerf, which is revealed to be the one thing that Yuuzhan Vong are alergic to. The galaxy decides it's had enough of wars and crap and massive uprisings take place on all non-independent, populated worlds and a few unpopulated ones. Derrik Jhett decides that he is Galactic Emperor and kills the one erson left in the Emire and assumes control of a personal Empire, made up of himself.
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Ams Jendob
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 Post Posted: Sun, March 09th 2008 12:14am    Post subject:
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13. The Mon Cals get pissed off, and kidnap the leaders of all of the factions... then imprison them in undersea pineapples.
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"The Preying Mantis often sizes up a potential mate while wearing too much eyeliner..." - Velora

"You are so cool, you make James Bond proud..." - My Dad... sarcastically. Don't try to juggle cutlery. :p
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Tiara Tranada
Lieutenant Commander


Joined: 30 May 2006
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 Post Posted: Sun, March 09th 2008 01:20am    Post subject:
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14. The Rebellion realises that its made up of a bunch of emos and pussies and surrender's in the hope that the Empire with be nice...
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Alatáriël Pallanén
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 Post Posted: Sun, March 09th 2008 02:16am    Post subject:
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Tiara Tranada wrote:
14. The Rebellion realises that its made up of a bunch of emos and pussies and surrender's in the hope that the Empire with be nice...


................
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Alatáriël Pallanén-Davad
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Han Solo
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 Post Posted: Sun, March 09th 2008 02:24am    Post subject:
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Uh, yes. Let's not get personal, please. We're looking for ways to 'win' a war, not start them.
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Tiara Tranada
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 Post Posted: Sun, March 09th 2008 04:21am    Post subject:
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For the record, I was talking about Skywalker and the canon Rebellion in general...
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Velora Antana
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 Post Posted: Sun, March 09th 2008 05:07am    Post subject:
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15. The Master releases LSD into the the water supply every Empire and Rebellion world. In the subsequent mad trippin', peace is concluded and a lot of children are conceived.
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-Grand Admiral, Chief of Staff of Nespis Defence Force-

"LOL DILDOS" - Cray | "FFS" - Ams | "Moff, you should know better." - Han

Alex says:
I outnumber him ten million to one
Alex says:
GOOD ODDS FOR ANY GREEK

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Crazed says:
everytime i talk to alexus, i love him a little more

Holder of the 30,000th post

Inventor of the phrase "I'll get my killin' hat." (Seriously. Google it.)

"My gut can't repel comedy of that magnitude!" - Jace911
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Sharan Musharif
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Joined: 02 Mar 2008
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 Post Posted: Sun, March 09th 2008 07:54am    Post subject:
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Full permission to CMAC to lock this thread if it becomes a bitch-fest, fun people, you remember that?

#15 An army of giant ninja-pirate-squirrels decends on both factions resulting in mass human genocide and the establishment of a NEW SQUIRREL ORDER!
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Terra Novari
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 Post Posted: Sun, March 09th 2008 09:32am    Post subject:
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#17 Galaxy realises that there are two #15s and implodes due to the impossibility.
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Ams Jendob
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Joined: 09 Jan 2006
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 Post Posted: Sun, March 09th 2008 12:23pm    Post subject:
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18. Salla Vivek becomes the Chief of State of the Rebel Alliance... and obliterates the Empire.

:p
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"The Preying Mantis often sizes up a potential mate while wearing too much eyeliner..." - Velora

"You are so cool, you make James Bond proud..." - My Dad... sarcastically. Don't try to juggle cutlery. :p
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307
Sergeant


Joined: 23 Nov 2006
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 Post Posted: Sun, March 09th 2008 04:15pm    Post subject:
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#19. Lucas decides that the Rebellion wins the war and causes Palpatine to have a stroke. :P
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Ams Jendob
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 Post Posted: Sun, March 09th 2008 09:17pm    Post subject:
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20. Have a Model 101 Terminator sing "Dancing Queen". All life in the Universe ends. :p
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Supreme Commander of the Central and Southern Galactic Segments, Director of Imperial Intelligence
Expand

Galaxy Map|Board and RPG Rules|Game Guide

"The Preying Mantis often sizes up a potential mate while wearing too much eyeliner..." - Velora

"You are so cool, you make James Bond proud..." - My Dad... sarcastically. Don't try to juggle cutlery. :p
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Space Jawa
Commander


Joined: 29 May 2006
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Location: Out of my mind...please leave a message

 Post Posted: Mon, March 10th 2008 11:58pm    Post subject:
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21. Centerpoint goes freaky and starts blowing up random stars. 99.9% of the galaxy wiped out, the rest are too shocked to do anything about it.
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